Recently I attended a meeting with John de Ruiter where he spoke about “Doing the laundry of the self.” ‘...as your self enters the wash, the ego is washed out. With the shift to following what you know, the ego has no more hold.’ When John spoke about this, I could imagine when I have feelings, when a pattern is touched in me, rather than reacting in old ways, the feelings could wash through me. That, in fact, I could let the uncomfortable feelings move through, without adding story or emotion.
As feelings wash through, might it be possible to settle into a quiet place within? Could I connect with some deeper inner knowing of what to be or do next? I looked forward to a moment when I might try it out.
Of course, a pattern was immediately touched. My husband made a critical comment about something I did. There it was. I felt the heat rising, a strong firery energy began to move inside and a push to justify myself. And then, somehow easily and naturally, I remembered to let the feelings wash through myself, to not touch them or add to them. While being quiet within, to let the feelings move anywhere.
It felt a bit intense in the beginning, and the more I let the feelings move, swishing this way and that, swirling around, having their way, the easier it was to be present in the feelings. Slowly I was even able to lay my head down in what was going on inside, to quietly and tenderly lay down. As I did that, the feelings became less, and then much less.
Next, spontaneously, some clarity of seeing arose, some deeper knowing about how to respond to the situation. My heart was quiet and without emotion. There was a deep stillness inside. And there was no residue of sticky, yucky feelings to deal with. Best of all, I was able to sweetly explain to my husband what had happened, and the waters were calm and serene between us.
Yes!!! This is good. I realized that letting feelings have a good wash through the laundry of myself seemed to really work.
Ummmm, could I do the wash each and every time a pattern is touched? And from this place of quiet rest within, would clarity appear out of some deeper knowing? Could I trust that simple, clear, good direction would come from within? Could I possibly be free from old reactions, no longer feeling stuck or living in unnecessary suffering?
This experience is an example of what I love most about John’s teaching. He is always illuminating the most direct path to living from what is deeper within. When I apply his teaching in my day-to-day life, it works. Not only does it work, but it also offers an experience of sweetness or nurture. Lucky me. Lucky life to have met John and follow his pointing to being what is deeper, to being my true nature. John is illuminating the direct path--direct relating to what I first am.
Thank you to all of me for loving learning and discovering an amazing teacher who knows all the secrets about doing laundry.
A group of us who attend meetings with John de Ruiter got together to see how we might write about the essence of John's teachings. John is a spiritual teacher in Edmonton, Canada who had a profound awakening when he was 17 years old. And he has continually deepened in his awakening for the last 35 years. Attempting to capture who he is could be a worthy challenge.
We realized a good place to begin was to relate to what is deepest within. That may be our best bet to find within what we know John to be. From that place we could see what arose. Would writing arise? We didn't know.
The phrase "Nothing Happening," emerged from our discussions and seemed to characterize a good starting place to settle into. So a few days later, I sat at my computer, closed my eyes, became quiet within, and let the following express:
So writing from “nothing happening.” What is that, where is that space? When everything within settles, and there is quiet, deep quiet, a quiet space filled with nothing. And then the quiet fills itself with a hum, a pulsing hum. Quiet filled with sound.
Sitting in my big chair at home, looking out the window, the longer the silence, the louder the pulsing hum grows. What arises is nothing or a simple clarity. Simple clarity speaks no loud sounds, yet it seems it can slowly melt emotions and old patterns of habit.
In meetings with John de Ruiter, this silent nothing fills the space with thick energy. Resonating with John’s profound stillness, settling in the quiet, dropping deeper, my mind stops.
Dropping even deeper, an urge arises to catch hold of something familiar, attempting to prevent completely melting and dissolving away. Relax, no need to catch hold, just let melting occur. And then thick nothing drops into greater fineness. Finer and finer becoming a glimpse of, what is it? Is it a sacred golden pulsing?
Staying, not moving, the golden threads become light, then colored light forms, geometrical and exquisite in form, moving and reforming into new shapes and colors. The gold turning into white light, morphing into electric blues, violets and greens and then moving further into nothing-but-blackness.
Now a dog barks shrill sounds like the cry of a hurt child. Its pain touches something deeper than usual within. Is it possible to directly enter the sacred through pain?
The phone rings. Standing up, moving, the surface takes form and what was deeper dissolves. And I ask, “What just happened? Did anything? Nothing happened. Nothing Happening...and Then."
For many of us, the purpose of attending meetings with John deRuiter is to relate to the breadth and depth of who we truly are. John gives us the opportunity to directly relate with someone who is a living example of the potential of human being-ness.
Attending a meeting with John is like taking a dip in deep waters. The room is very, very still, and a thick, restful energy fills the space. A person sits facing John and shares, often asking for advice.
John silently connects, making eye contact. It is easy to feel his tenderness, kindness, and sensitivity. The invitation to drop deeper and deeper is always present.
When John speaks, you can see he fully embodies what he speaks. If he talks about openness and softness of heart, you palpably feel he is being exactly that. It’s easy to resonate with the profound depth from which John speaks. The quieter and quieter within, the deeper the experience.
John often points people to their inner knowing to answer their questions and concerns. “What do you know that is deepest in your heart?” The heart is where clarity resides and the heart can prompt where to move or what to do next in any situation.
Meetings with John are held Friday evening at 7:00 p.m., Sundays at 1:30 p.m. and 7:00 p.m., as well as Monday at 7:00 p.m. The meetings are held at the Oasis Centre, located at 10930 177th street, Edmonton, Alberta.
There are people from all over the world who attend meetings with John. People who know deeper meaning in life exists, and sense that John presents a doorway into greater meaning.
To know who John is and what he speaks, attend a meeting. Pay special attention to what is occurring within, and enjoy settling into your heart and discovering its wisdom and depth.
